ON THE ROAD

I first read On the Road as an impressionable 15-year-old. It changed everything for me. Suddenly, there was a world of possibilities I'd never considered. It gave voice to all the longing I'd never understood. A vehicle for the restlessness that had nipped at my heels. It lit fire to my soul. For the next several years, I lived, breathed, and dreamed anything beat. And the first chance I got to shuck my old skin for a new one, I didn't hesitate. Days after graduating high school, I packed a suitcase, bought a one-way ticket to New Orleans, and with just a few hundred dollars in my pocket, went in search of life and adventure. I wasn't thinking about college, long-term goals, or a secure future. I wanted now, to live in the moment. To "simply be--be--be--."

{from the passage, "Hold still man, regain your love of life and go down from this mountain and simply be--be--be-- the infinite fertilities of the one mind of infinity, making no comments, complaints, criticisms, appraisals, avowals, sayings, shooting stars of thoughts, just flow, flow, be you all, be you what is, it is only what it always is -- Hope is a word like a snow drift--This is the Great Knowing, this the Awakening, this is Voidness -- so shut up, live, travel, adventure, bless and don't be sorry..." Jack Kerouac, Desolation in Solitude}

Originally, a good friend was supposed to go with me but she skipped out at the last minute. I decided right then and there I would never base my decisions on whether I did something or not on anyone else, even if it meant going it alone. I've kept that promise to myself.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't afraid but I was young and naive, an idealistic day-dreamer and romantic. It still astounds me that my parents allowed me to go on my own. But then, it never occurred to me I couldn't. Years later when I asked my father about it, he said, "I couldn't have stopped you." And of course he was right. Even then, I rarely changed my mind once I'd made it. When the plane landed in New Orleans, I lingered for hours at the airport, feeling alone and unsure. For the first time, I was on my own with no one to meet me and nowhere to go. And suddenly I felt very small in a very big world. But eventually, I took an airport shuttle to the YMCA. I figured, if it was good enough for Jack, it was good enough for me. Unfortunately, it didn't quite live up to my romanticized expectations. Not only was the Y on the wrong side of the tracks and a fair distance from the French Quarter, it was also frequently raided by the police at 3 A.M. But it was cheap. I stayed in New Orleans, first at the Y, and then in an attic share near Loyola University, for nearly two months. That's how long it took to decide there was nothing fun or romantic about being broke. So, I had my dad immediately wire me a ticket home. But even if my adventure hadn't panned out quite as I'd imagined it -- what a story I had to tell.

That solo adventure to New Orleans turned out to be the first of many. I've traveled to back roads and far places, from our own beautiful country to most of Europe, India, Nepal, and SouthEast Asia. I think the urge to be and see more is innate within me, but the spark, the possibility of it, was fueled by the pages of On the Road.

So, I'm thrilled that after several unsuccessful attempts there's finally a film. I've got my fingers crossed it doesn't disappoint. Francis Ford Coppola who first bought the film rights back in 1979 hired Brazilian director Walter Salles (The Motorcylce Diaries) and cast Sam Riley to play Sal Paradise, Garrett Hedlund as Dean Moriarty, Kristen Stewart as Marylou, and Kirsten Dunst as Camille. The film's release date is set for this year (2012.)

"It's an anywhere road for anybody anyhow." - kerouac, on the road

IT'S A MINI (PIE) BIRTHDAY!

It's my birthday! Why eat cake when I can eat pie?

PROOF IS IN THE PUDDING

"Make a remark," said the Red Queen, "it's ridiculous to leave all the conversation to the pudding!" - lewis carroll, alice in wonderland

I've got a bit of a craving for chocolate pudding pie. Odd, since I hardly ever eat puddings. But the thought of something not only chocolately but thick, smooth, and creamy sounds delicious. I found this scrumptious recipe by Melissa Roberts at gourmet. Note: I swapped out her pastry dough for my own all butter crust. You can find her original recipe for pastry dough here.

Chocolate Pudding Pie

1/4 cornstarch

1/3 cup plus 2 tbsp sugar, divided

3 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder

1/4 tsp salt

3 cups whole milk

4 oz bittersweet chocolate, finally chopped

1 tsp pure vanilla extract

1 cup chilled heavy cream

1 blind-baked, 9-inch crust (*recipe below)

1. Whisk together cornstarch, 1/3 cup sugar, cocoa powder, and salt in a 2-quart heavy saucepan, then gradually whisk in milk. If possible a flat whisk works best. Brig to a boil over medium heat, whisking constantly, then boil, whisking, two minutes until mixture thickens. Remove from heat and whisk chocolate and vanilla until smooth.
2. Pour filling into cooled shell. Place plastic wrap over surface to prevent a skin from forming. Place in fridge for a minimum of 2 hours.
3. Just before serving, beat heavy cream and remaining 2 tablespoons of sugar just until soft peak form and hold. Spoon onto pie and garnish with chocolate shaving.

All Butter Pie Crust (one single)

1 1/4 cups flour

1 tbsp sugar

1/4 tsp salt

1 stick, cold unsalted butter

2 1/2 to 3 tbsp ice water, more or less

1. In a large bowl whisk together flour, sugar, and salt.
2. Dice one stick of very cold butter into 1/2-inch pieces.
3. Sprinkle the butter cubes over the flour, and using the pastry blender, cut butter into the flour. Make sure to work the pastry blender evenly over the mixture until the butter pieces are the size of tiny peas.
4. Drizzle 3 tablespoons of ice water (not the ice) over the flour mixture. I find 3 tablespoons of ice water usually is enough but sometimes 1 or 2 additional tablespoons may be necessary BUT add 1 tablespoon at a time. It's always easier to add more water, then to try and repair a too wet dough. Using a rubber spatula, gather the dough together. Remember, you want just enough water for the dough to come together. Once you start to get large clumps with the spatula, use your hands to gather the rest of the clumps together into a single mound.
5. Place mound on a large sheet of saran wrap. Shape into a disk. Wrap and refrigerate for one to two hours, before rolling out.

Prepare Crust:

1. I find rolling out dough between two sheets of plastic makes the cleanup easier. Roll out dough into an 11-inch round. Fit into a 9-inch pie plate. Trim edge but leave a 1/2-inch overhang, then fold overhang under and flute the edges.
2. Prick bottom of pie shell, then chill shell in freezer for 30 minutes. This will prevent shrinkage.
3. While shell is chilling, preheat oven to 350º F with a baking sheet in the middle rack.
4. Butter the shiny side of a sheet of an aluminum foil. Firmly line the frozen pie shell with the foil (buttered side down.) No pie weights necessary.
5. Bake on baking sheet until pastry is set and edge is pale golden, about 25 minutes. Carefully remove foil, then bake shell another 15 or 20 minutes, or until crust is golden brown all over. Cool shell completely.

ph//stephanie foley via gourmet

SONG FOR SUNDAY

childhood living is easy to dothe things you wanted i bought them for yougraceless lady you know who I amyou know I can't let you slide through my hands
wild horses couldn't drag me awaywild, wild horses, couldn't drag me away
I watched you suffer a dull aching painnow you decided to show me the sameno sweeping exits or offstage linescould make me feel bitter or treat you unkind
wild horses couldn't drag me awaywild, wild horses, couldn't drag me away
I know I dreamed you a sin and a lieI have my freedom but I don't have much timefaith has been broken, tears must be criedlet's do some living after we die
wild horses couldn't drag me awaywild, wild horses, we'll ride them some day
(wild horses, the sundays)

RED (H)AIR

"Out of the ash I rise with my red hair And eat men like air" - sylvia plath

my instagram//paridiso

OPTICAL DELUSION

"A human being is part of a whole, called by us - universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts, and feelings as something separated from the rest... a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in it's beauty." - albert einstein

ph//georges seurat, seurat's mother//wayne levin, circling akule

THE SHIRT DRESS

This lovely pink poet's dress reminds me of my favorite style of vintage dress - collared shirt dresses with pretty pleat details and simple tie-belt. A perfect example is the 1970's Schrader Sport Shirt Dress in lavender (below.) I found the exact same dress in fuchsia several years ago at a thrift store in Florida. I don't know what it is about this particular style but I definitely have a penchant for them. Maybe it's the simplicity of the design coupled with the fact they're so comfortable to wear.

ph//poet's silk dress by thom dolan //schrader sports shirt dress